Answers - I Would Like to Have Some

Shadows. All of it is shadows. I grasp at them and find that I have nothing. The shadows move and quake. They mock me. I am so strong until the tears start to flow. Even then I stand as an immovable fortress. All I want is to be held, yet I won't let anyone near me. I shoot with darts of bitterness and reflection. I do not regret my decisions but I regret the childhood I left behind. My stomach churns.

My current roommate in the U.S. (not Mander) decided to sign another lease. Not a problem in itself. The problem is she waited until now to tell me this - when the lease is due as soon as I return to the States. I have been on a hunt for a third roommate during the past month. I've kept my roommate up to date in all details of the search. She hasn't mentioned anything to me until now. Thanks. Rather than explode, my response was cool and tactful. It was either that or go off the handle. I would imagine that the perference of most people would be to have interactions in a calm manner. So now I have an expensive apartment solely under my name. I just need to breathe.