How to say No and mean it.

I wouldn’t call myself a feminist. I merely believe that women can and should take the initiative to stand up for themselves. If that belief makes me a feminist, then so be it.

I met up with some friends tonight for a rock show near the Bastille. The show ended up more folk rocksy, but it was a good time. We arrived before the bands. lol. But after a while, the place started filling up. Friends of friends started showing up and everyone is having a good time. There are a lot of introductions. Being myself, I don’t really remember anyone’s name (it usually takes me at least 3 meetings to remember a name – sad but true). One guy was quite drunk. In his drunken state, he takes it upon himself to start hitting on a girl from IES. She just sits there and smiles. Apparently she was not having a good time but refused to say anything to anyone. The guy wouldn’t leave her alone, so she merely sat there and endured it. Way to stand up for yourself champ! Instead of getting one of the guys she knew to help her out, she sits and smiles. Smiles!!! Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Otherwise confusion arises out of the lack of communication. There’s nothing like a “no, don’t touch me” remark followed by a “here is my new boyfriend Guillaume” (finding the nearest tough looking guy). Granted this may not always work, but at least it’s a start in the right direction.

Anyway, at some point the IES girl leaves taking the only other girl with her. I have no idea when this happened exactly, only that it did. Again lack of communication. Thanks for that. I look around to find myself hanging out with 9 beer drinking French guys. Story of my life – just me and the guys. And allow me to just say that some of these dudes could put you in a coma. Rodney Hughes, I think these guys could beat you up … and that’s saying something! I digress.

The night actually passed rather well. I just found humor in the fact that most of it was spent with a bunch of dudes. And for those of you concerned about my safety, I had a friend escort me home.

Endnote: Someone should do a study on what makes a girl a target. Actually I’m sure it has already been done …. It's not my story is an especially good example of anything, but I get so irritated when people let themselves get walked on. Stand up for yourself. Do something.